Isn't it sad that we’re taught that a woman's body in her natural form is something ugly, something disgusting, something to be ashamed of?
What am I talking about?
What is your immediate thought when you see a woman with leg hair the same length as a man’s?
What is your initial reaction when you see a woman raise her arm in a way that exposes a bushy armpit?
How do you feel when you get a glimpse of a woman's pubic hair "protruding" through her bathing suit......
What about when it's not protruding accidentally.....I mean when she is standing in front of you with no qualms about the fact her bather bottoms don't cover her plethora of pubes.
If we see a woman simply standing in her power, her full form, standing in her body with her hair that the body GREW and is MEANT to have, - MEANT to asin it happens naturally, ORGANICALLY (nothing about whether you want it or not)
Isn't it weird that it sends a ripple of surprise through us, or a ripple of disgust? As if we are seeing something we shouldn't be?
Maybe weird isn’t the word... SAD, It’s SAD that we can’t handle our natural form and that we feel we must change it in order to feel comfortable and attractive.
It’s bizarre that we remove hair.... As if we are removing shame along with it....
When we see a man with leg hair, its normal, there's no second thoughts, armpit hair, again just a man…. Pubes… normal.. *Sure some of us may think I hope I don’t get a pube stuck in my throat” before going down on him….( because how annoying is it fishing for pubes in your mouth….) Annoying sure but a reason to miss out on being intimate? I think not! But how many of us would think “yuck, I’m not going near you until you get rid of THAT!(hair)” - ?
-*If you know someone who has asked you or another to remove hair for their own needs…. Send them this!
Imagine if every (most) “cute”, “sexy”, “stylish” photo in every magazine, on every social media profile, every TV screen showed women with their body in full human form.... Hair on their heads, chins, lips, brows, hair between their legs and on them, hair between their ass cheeks.
Imagine that.... What ripple effect would that have?…. Children being raised to accept their bodies?
Have you reflected on whether or not you have programing around body hair on yourself or others? Again a reminder this isn't about what your preference is. This is about your reaction to hair, something that is seen as NORMAL for a man but ABNORMAL for a woman. - Everyone is free to remove or keep their hair… Its simply important to consider how you feel about it, and check if your thoughts on it have simply been passed down to you as a subconscious belief… everyday is a chance to reevaluate your ingrained beliefs and let go of what no longer serves YOU.
Today I'm thankful that my mother had hair on her body while I was growing up, she was the only woman I encountered as a child who had hair and I got to see how people treated her because of it, I'm sure seeing her wear her body as nature intended had something to do with me coming full circle as I entered adulthood and realised that hair is apart of me, and that's nothing to hide, be ashamed of or REMOVE in order to be socially acceptable.
I am lucky enough to have come to the realisation that society's pressure on me as a women to remove my hair in order to be seen as attractive or beautiful by the oppositie sex is a load of shite. I have spent years growing and removing hair and becoming used to the idea that hair is normal… and that making women doubt there beauty is rule #1 in having a successful economy fueled by consumerism.
FOR the parents/teachers: At the end of the day we can ponder this topic for ourselves, we can share it with our peers, but I think it’s just as important to talk to our kids about this…..
If you want to know what your kids think… just ask them… it's a fun game to see where your parenting and communication needs work ;) haha
How we act and react around our children becomes apart of them whether for better or worse.. Are we raising children to accept and respect others or to shame and bully others???
You best believe hair is one thing people are bullied about.
Think about it.
Yoni steaming also known as vaginal steaming is an old practice that involves sitting/squatting over heated water that contains herbs and allowing the steam and warmth to “work its magic” within the vaginal canal and all the way through the cervix and into the womb(uterus).
Yoni steaming has been practiced by may different cultures across the globe, and in some communities smoke was used in place of water.
Steaming is non invasive nor time consuming, it is easy to set up and an overall enjoyable and comfortable experience, Some women are concerned when they hear the word 'steam" but not to worry the steam is never "hot" but warm and comfortable, the last thing you want to do is scold your precious "down there".
Today we are seeing this wise practice return, especially for mothers during the fourth trimester, more commonly known as the postpartum period or the weeks and months following childbirth.
Steaming during this time is a wonderful way to return warmth to ones body, the steam also acts as a toner, cleanser, and depending on what herbs are used can also contain antibacterial properties(to help with say stitches). Steaming helps the skin to regenerate, muscles to return to pre pregnancy shape and place and supports the cervix in closing, as well as removing any stagnant lochia. It can also ease postnatal contractions and if performed correctly can be such a relaxing and blissful experience that it aids in milk supply by increasing the release of Oxycontin.
Vaginal steaming is not only great for the postpartum period but anytime!
Steaming can assist in:
Steaming has been used to assist those who experience:
How to get started?
Its best to talk to someone with experience, like a yoni steam practitioner or a peri-steam hydro therapist, that way you can have a unique steam plan created to suit your needs (that includes the recommend herbal blend and frequency of steaming)
Why can't I just use any herbs I want?
Technically you can! But in some cases its best to have someone help you with your herb selection as different herbs help with different aliments, for example lavender while aromatic is also drying and someone suffering from dryness would not benefit from including too much of it (if any) to their "v steam" in some cases it can in fact make the dryness much worse.
*Depending on where you are in the world you can head to the steamy chick practitioners directory to find your local practitioner.
So as you can see Yoni streaming is a wonderful self care tool for women all around the world, and a fantastic non invasive health protocol for those wishing to try natural therapies to heal certain dis-ease within the body before trying medical intervention.
Yoni steaming is also beneficial for men too! But more on that later...
I hope this blog post has helped answer any questions or concerns you may have had about yoni steaming and that you also have a better understanding of what yoni steaming is now.
If you would like more information or have specific yoni steaming questions or would like help setting up a personalized steam plan please get in touch via the contact page, or leave a comment below. Alternately you can visit this page to fill out a from and have it emailed to me so I can asses it and then send you your recommended steam plan free of charge. (Offer available free of charge for a limited time only)
**If you would like to purchase bulk yoni herbs at wholesale prices please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Thank you for reading
You know that one friend.... who leaves the abusive relationship, meets a nice person, BUT runs back to the same old abusive relationship?
And you wonder WHY?!
Or maybe it’s not a friend, maybe it’s a coworker, an aunt?
Maybe its you?
Why do we seem to do this?
Ok maybe more the one word, but you get the point.
It’s because of fear, You know how we daydream? And you know how we have nightmares?
Well we also tend to overthink things and before we know it we are having “day meres” left right and centre, and suddenly we’re a terrified mess, whose stuck in a rut and unable to move forward in our lives!
So just to clarify. When we are used to something, for example an unhealthy relationship, or having low self esteem.. It’s easier to stick with that, then change our whole outlook on life.
So we may become brave enough to run away from what’s harming us, but once we are free.. We can find ourselves so out of our comfort zone, so overwhelmed and so uneducated in this new found freedom that we retreat to whence we came.
Hence the going back to our unhealthy relationships (example only)
Did you know it takes on average 8 times for a women to leave her abusive partner before she finally leaves for good! ! yep. 8 times. to break the habit, to test the waters enough to know that even though it’s scary in uncharted territory it’s STILL worth it. To keep going, to keep on keeping on, to keep seeking something better, something more.
It’s worth it.
And like I said before the unhealthy relationship is just one example, this pattern can be seen with any kind of relationship, not just partner to partner, It can be person to their addiction, alcohol, drugs, food, not only that but to a toxic friendship, work environment and even YOUR relationship with yourself. How is your positive self talk? Your self belief and regard for yourself? Non existent? Failing? Great? - Great I hope!
So just remember, things get better! You have to keep the hope and faith, never lose it!
The way I see it (& perspective is also a CHOICE) - I choose to see the fact someone has stopped something before…. Even for a minute! An hour, a day a week, a month a year, that is proof that we can change.
Change is scary.
Healing is scary.
But it is worth it.
And as a wise man once said to me : the only thing consistent in life is change”
So we might as well accept it, Let it swallow us up and allow it to transform our lives…. For the better <3
For ourselves, For our children and their children…. For all of humanity.
Oh and PS: Remember to love your friend, even if they keep going back to the same old shit. You don’t have to be around for the drama, you can still love from afar while protecting your own energy, But love them nonetheless.
To forgive is to heal
Is not forgetting,
Is not allowing them back into your life to continue being toxic
Is not ignoring what they put you through
Is not pretending you are ok
Is not blaming yourself
Is not believing you deserved “it”
Forgiving someone is not weak.
To forgive is to heal.
Is to accept the past as it is.
Is to set yourself free.
Is to move on.
Forgive to heal.
I forgive and I do not forget.
I forgive and I learn.
I forgive and I vow to never be like you.
I forgive and I still feel.
I forgive and I accept.
I forgive and I still mourn.
I forgive and I do not blame.
I forgive to move forward again.
I forgive but “we” are no longer.
I forgive you.
This piece was inspired by my recent “saying no to” and standing up against a narcissist.
For me to remain healthy, positive, balanced, grounded, focused and happy in myself, as a mother and in my relationship, I have had to block this person from my life.
There is anger and pain surrounding this and the reasoning, BUT I don’t want to be weighed down by that, I don’t want my focus to be on that. (hence the poem)
Its true that there are choices in life, the choice to move on, to ignore or to to dwell.
I am choosing to move on, I have done all that I can in this situation, I have made my needs clear, I have made a request and the person on the other side cannot meet me halfway, they cannot apologize, they cannot admit their wrong doing and I simply cannot continue to live a lie any longer; I cannot allow for the issue to be “swept under the rug” like it has for the past 20+ years.
So, NO MORE.
If you have someone in your life, an energy vampire, someone who when you hear from them or see them you come away feeling weighed down or drained, then maybe it’s time to reconsider their presence in your life?
Maybe it’s time to evaluate whether they bring worth to your life or not. Do they deserve a place in your life?
Just remember you don’t owe anyone anything. And blood doesn’t mean a thing, we are all equal. The idea that you must be loyal” to family or that “blood is thicker than water” are creepy and deceiving. I don’t doubt such small minded phrases were coined by a mass manipulator.
The mantra I currently keep being reminded; of thanks to the beautiful people in my life is:
“You can’t choose your family, but You can choose your friends”
Ten years ago I was drinking at a friends house.
Ten years ago I was flirting with a guy.
Ten years ago I was keen on making out.
Ten years ago I tried to say no.
Ten years ago I was semi conscious
Ten years ago I said do you have protection.
Ten years ago he said yes and he lied.
Ten years ago I said NO, more then once.
Ten years ago I was the victim of what is now known as "stealthing".
Ten years ago I was raped at a friends house.
Ten years ago.
Ten years ago I had my virginity taken from me.
Afterwards, I fell asleep holding the hand of another guy, while I cried to sleep on the floor under a blanket, he didn't know what had happened but he could tell I wasn't OK, so he (my friend) stayed by my side all night and I will be forever grateful.
Ten years ago I woke up and everyone wanted to go get "bakery food" and go for a swim...
Ten years ago I went along with a fake smile and fake laugh.
Ten years ago I went to the bathroom at the pool and saw the most blood I had ever seen before; between my legs; that would explain the absolute agony I had been in the night before, nothing would compare to the pain and blood, until I would experience childbirth years later.
Ten years ago I pretended I was fine.
Ten years ago, when I got home, I called my best friend and I yelled at her “I just had sex for the first time, do you hate me” and we both cried hysterically, because I didn't know what else to say.
Ten years ago.
It has taken me 10 years to be able to say the word rape. And I still hate the word.
It is so weird to think, the amount of women I have talked to who have also been raped or sexually abused and they will not say the word/s, they cannot physically say it, and do you know what their explanation is?
"I don't want to be a victim"
Somehow the word "makes" you a victim.
And that can leave you feeling powerless. trapped. dirty. broken.
Not only that, but in our society today, it is common place to see someone openly share their story and then to hear others respond with "what did you do" as if "it"was asked for.... Maybe you stuck a sign to your forehead that said "please rape me" - Probable? right?.....................
But still, somehow you asked for it.. You were being slutty, you were leading them on, you were flirting, you were making out, you were dirty dancing, you had your tits out, you were showing some leg, you were naked, you had already started…….. (watch this video)
and that means you're not entitled to use the word "no" Or rape…
I haven't talked to many people about this or sort "legal help", some days I wonder if I should've, other days I struggle with guilt and shame, and there are also days where I want to forgive the person; in order to set myself free, I am working on it; on all of it... not just for myself, but because I want others to be brave, to come forward to share their stories too, to show their families and friends that this is all too common, and that things MUST change. They must.
I guess writing this piece and sharing it is my way of owning my story. And will hopefully inspire others to consider their actions, MOSTLY I hope to inspire people to work on healing themselves. - You are allowed to talk about it, you are allowed to decide what course of action you take, But I just want you to know this doesn't define you, restrict you or have to control you.
"There is life after rape darling, so much life. You are not a victim. You are a survivor, a fighter and you deserve to thrive."
I choose to have a mind set like this woman with her experience, see here.
What I think adds up to the problem: The way society approaches sex, sexual health and consent, and I think we know we've fucked up.
So what then ? What do we do?, We MUST change our approach, AND in many ways:
It all starts as a child.
What we are influenced by, we become.
I also want to add here that parents these days are the biggest influences, they are a child's' first teacher followed by care providers, school teachers and "celebrities"- SO you need to reflect on your language, is there a girl at school that likes your son... but she behaves in ways you don't like? Consider how you are speaking about her in front of your child... learn that this is the biggest influence for your child. Not only how you are speaking about her but what you think bout her, what is triggering you? - This may be a sign you have work to do.
* These days many people take to using the excuse that "men and boys are the issue", but I know of men and boys who have been raped and sexually abused too; once, twice, as a child, as a teen, as an adult and for most of their lives. And I know women of who are rapists/sexual abusers.
I think This is an issue for all of us, regardless of gender. I refuse to believe this is a one sided topic and that only our men are responsible.
It's my job to help end rape culture. Will you work to end it too?
NO embarrassment. No stigma. No disbelief. No denial. NO SHAME.
**I want to add that losing my voice from fear while I was being held down... That became a common reaction... it played out in my life in many different ways during sex and just overal in general.
I had to fight to get my voice back and stand up for myself, and once I became aware of this pattern, once I figured out how to take my power back, It became aware to me how we tech this pattern to our children from a young age, regardless of sexual abuse being present... this is something WE MUST be mindful of.